Realizing the holidays were approaching, our daughter notified us she “only wanted Princess stuff.”  She then added to that, “real princess stuff, Disney Princess.”

I realize I am the parent, I could put my foot down, maybe even sneak in some wooden puzzles. But, in truth, it is not like she asked for a Tiffany bracelet or a Hannah Montana doll. And on the positive side, Maia’s favorite princess is currently Mulan, teaching her some other (slightly Disneyfied) culture than that which exists under the sea and in a castle. Plus, underhanded plans are already in the works to sneak in some non-Disney branded Princess paraphernalia, and as long as it is pink and royal-looking she will be a happy toddler.

So, on my excursions to hunt down various Princess presents, I came across some licensed products that lend themselves quite naturally to the brand (Barbie-style dolls, pajamas, DVD players, pop-up castle tents, even toothpaste). However, I have chanced upon a few that left me with a slight feeling somewhere between bemusement and professional curiosity. I wondered how important it was to stay true to a classic brand, respect the back-stories and remember the magic that originally made these films so successful.

Before I share my list of Perplexing Princess Products, let it be known I am in no means an anti-Disney anarchist. I can’t wait to bring Maia to Disney World, show her all the movies I watched as a kid, and take her to each new one as it comes out. But, it is hard not to poke fun at some of the licensed products coming out of the House of Mouse, whether or not they are ringing up sales at the registers.

Ten Perplexing Princess Products

1. “The Princess and The Frog” Comfy Throw Blanket – Yup, it’s a Princess Snuggie, or Snuggler to be more accurate. The current As-Seen-On-TV product we all love to laugh at is now available at your local toy store with your favorite new princess image on it.

2. My 1st Disney Princess Baby Ariel Doll – With this release, Disney is going “retcon” on us. If I recall, Ariel did not have legs until her later years. I understand this may be categorized as nitpicking, and the target demographic may not be so concerned, but ignoring a classic back-story devalues a much-loved license.

3. Princess Ariel Bride Dress - I am okay with princess dress-up, but a bride’s dress borders on “Toddlers and Tiaras” level creepy. I understand the value of role-play, and Maia loves to pretend her Princess dolls are getting married. But seeing her walk down the “make pretend” aisle in a white dress that “includes a bonus veil to make you feel like you are headed down the aisle with your own Prince Eric” is messing with my head a bit too much.

4. Any Disney Princess Enchanted Nursery Toy - This whole line is based off the concept that Belle, Beauty, Cinderella and their princes all played together as toddlers. Seeing The Beast as a toddler in his outfit did make me chuckle, but the words “brand erosion” come to mind when seeing some of these dolls.

5. Enchanted Nursery Sea Shore Snow White - A build off of the previously mentioned line, this has Snow White “dressed up and ready to go” for a day at the beach. Sunglasses and sparkle bathing suit are included. Again, I go back to the story of Snow White and question whether she had access, deep in the woods, to the latest Ray-Bans and La Blanca products.

6. Snow White Vacuum & 7. Snow White Ironing Board Seat – Speaking of Snow White’s resources, I am sure she would have loved this vacuum and ironing board when cleaning up after those 7 slobs. Unfortunately, the “real” Snow White had to do with her helpful animal friends and some elbow grease. Fortunately, today’s girl has more options, and the little Snow White of tomorrow will have some practice with these Princess-branded toys.

8. Disney Princess: A Christmas of Enchantment – After borrowing this from a friend, I anticipated the Princess crew would help us celebrate the season with some new holiday content. But watching it, all I found was recycled bits of old Disney content with brief intros. We are given a chopped version of the previously-released Beauty and the Beast: The Enchanted Christmas DVD, an edited short from Fantasia 2000, some above-average 1930′s era cartoon shorts, a Little Mermaid story with no animation and two songs with clips from the Princess films.

9. Disney Princess Plush Rocker – No direct tie-in to any princess is clear here, as we know none of the royal girls were riding flamingo-colored horses. The color pink seems to be the only connection to anything princess.

10. Disney Princess Nursery Doll Set – Sure, girls love playing mommy to little baby dolls. So, why not slap a Princess logo on a doll and sell it as a branded Princess item? Also available to keep your baby comfy: princess branded cribs, swings, beds, feeding sets and more.

Your thoughts? Any Princess products you love? Or think are over-the-top? Feel free to comment!

Despite the fact that it occurs every year, I am always flabbergasted when Christmas products hit shelves as soon as the Halloween candy has left them. However, in this spirit of planning in advance, I am laying out my Chanukah playlist. Chanukah starts earlier this year, December 12 to be specific, so I have about a month to get Maia excited for the “festival of lights” and some of the tunes that go with it. Since we celebrate the traditions of both December holidays in my house, we try to select songs that match this festive, but not particularly religious, spirit. While it is fairly obvious the quantity of tunes will never measure up to those of Christmas, there are a few kid-friendly jewels to keep the flame burning.

As a quick editorial note (and I realized this is actually a hotly debated topic), I have chosen to go with the “Chanukah” spelling.

Mama Doni – Chanukah Fever (13 Macca-Beats For The Whole Family!): Set to be released November 24, I had a chance to preview this comical take on the holiday from Mama Doni, aka Doni Zasloff Thomas. Filled with Jewish humor and a novelty-spin on the holiday, Mama Doni takes a multi-genre approach with her music, covering hip-hop, swing, dance, Latin-pop and even the self-described “Jewgrass” genre. Titles sure to get the kids singing, and giggling, include “The Funky Gold Menorah,” “La Vida Dreidel,” and “I Say Chanukah (You Say Hanukah!).” Sure, this CD is “shticky,” but Doni seems to embrace this point and run with it. Unlike some of the Chanukah titles, this one is “kid-safe” from start to finish. Doni is currently touring JCCs around the East Coast to promote “Chanukah Fever.”

She’s got the fever for the flavor of fried potatoes

Indie pop that will melt your gelt

LeeVees – Hanukkah Rocks: Released several years back, this project is a collaboration between Adam Gardner of Guster and Dave Schneider of hockey-loving band the Zambonis. Like many Chanukah music projects, the LeeVees were inspired by the lack of original holiday tunes. While some of the indie-pop style songs may not be kid- apropo (not so ready to play Maia a song called “Goyim Friends”), there are some true gems on this. “Latke Clan” should be the true token Chanukah radio song, wiping Adam Sandler’s tired tune away, with its Beach Boys-inspired melodies and witty lyrics. The fist-pumping “Gelt Melts” is a punk-rock ode to the chocolate money ever-present at this holiday. The indie pop tune “Applesauce vs. Sour Cream” brings up the classic debate about the best topping for your potato pancake. There is even a slow-groove song mourning the healthy makeover of Jewish noodle pudding dish “Kugel.” The CD is especially notable for its production, with Peter Katis (Interpol, The National) behind the decks.

Erran Baron Cohen – Songs in the Key of Hanukkah:  Another album inspired by lack of quality musical product for this Jewish holiday, this album takes a less humorous approach. Erran Baron Cohen, brother of actor Sacha Baron Cohen (“Borat”), is already an accomplished musician, scoring soundtracks for his brother’s projects and releasing albums under his ZOHAR band. “Songs In The Key Of Hanukkah” combines multiple genres, including klezmer, reggae, electronica, and hip hop, as well songs in English, Hebrew and Ladino. For this album, I cherry-picked out a few of my favorites that were more kid-friendly and more tradition-based vs. religion-based. Cohen completely reworks classic songs “Hanukkah oh Hanukkah” and “Dreidel” to re-inspired klezmer/hip-hop mash-ups that take the songs seriously. “Spin It Up” has a reggae feel, and despite minimal lyrics, seems to be a celebration of dreidel time.

Chanukah gets mashed up

Danny Adlerman, Kevin Kammeraad, and Yosi - “…and a Happy New Year”: A superstar team of well-known kids’ recording artists have gathered to create a holiday album that fit several faiths. The collaborative “…and a Happy New Year” is a mix of original tunes, and remakes of classics. Chanukah-specific tunes include the Danny Adlerman-fronted remake of novelty tune “I’m Spending Hanukkah in Santa Monica,” a song Maia instantly got a kick out of even if she didn’t understand the context. Adlerman also fronts “Tikkun Olam,” a song about “repairing the world” during the holiday season. “Yosi & the Superdads” do a unique (and much-needed) bluesy rock rework of “I Have A Little Dreidel.” There is even a future Chanukah kindie classic from Yosi, “She Just Doesn’t Get It,” a modern day tale about a “baby sister” who can’t quite figure out the holiday. This collaboration is another stellar effort from a team of musicians that know their demographic.

Kindie crew covers all the bases

Barenaked Ladies – Barenaked for Hanukkah E.P.: This three song E.P is actually pulled from their Barenaked for the Holidays album. Always willing to dabble in family music, the ‘Ladies serve up the classic “Oh Hanukkah” with a klezmer twist, a fireplace-ready version of “Hanukkah Blessings” and their version of that famous Dreidel song.

Have any Chanukah songs you like? Send your recommendations along in the comments!